Wild, wild West. Motherfuckin’ wild, wild West.
Way back ye olde steampunk alternate reality 1869, there lived a US Marshal by
the name of Jim West (Will Smith). One fine bright and sunny day, (after
punching a handicap guy, pointing a gun at a crossdresser, burning down a
whorehouse, flashing a group of men and shooting a hole into the ceiling of the
Oval Office) Smith is teamed up with fellow US Marshal Artemus Gordon (Kevin
Kline) and assigned, by President Grant, to investigate the disappearances of
America's leading scientists. For some unexplained reason, the two men are
instantly very competitive towards each other and after a horse / penny-farthing
race, Kline hits Smith in the head with a cartoonishly large hammer. They soon
put their differences aside long enough to play with a decapitated human head
and then touch each other’s breasts. After fondling each other, they sneak into
a party put on by the evil, Dr. Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh), and search
for clues. Finally, around the 50-minute mark they wind up in the wild, wild
West.
I like WILD WILD WEST. I’ve seen it many times over the years and it’s always
good for a chuckle. It’s by no means a good movie, but it is entertaining in a
silly kind of way. And sometimes that’s all you need. Overacting, absolutely
illogical and unbelievable inventions, cartoon physics all over the place, plot
holes galore, clunky script, villains who graduated with honors from The James
Bond Movie Villain School of Murder, impressive supporting cast full of familiar
faces, flamethrower titties, cringey dialogue that is nothing more than thinly
veiled insults about race and the handicap (Example: Branagh mentions that Smith
adds “color” to the party, Smith replies to the legless Branagh about
needing to “stand up and be counted”, Branagh then replies about not
seeing Smith for a “coon’s age”, etc. It just kept going on and was
painful to watch. All of that shit should have been cut.), a steam powered
wheelchair, titty punch, goofy direction, disappointing end boss fight, a Jason
Voorhees sighting, strange editing, one death that literally made zero sense to
me ('Metal Head'), vapor trails in the sky, RCA dog reference, abrupt ending
that left me wanting more…even at 106-minutes, WWW could have 10 minutes longer
and benefited greatly. The pacing of the entire film just felt rushed.
Despite its many shortcomings, WILD WILD WEST is still a fun film that somehow
finds its way into my handsome eyeballs once or twice a year and I always watch
the entire thing. I’d gladly accept a Part 2 if they ever made it. Or a
reboot. Hell, if there was enough extra footage laying around, I'd be
interested in seeing a complete re-edit.
P.S. Nice horse!
Showing posts with label western. Show all posts
Showing posts with label western. Show all posts
Friday, February 5, 2021
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005)
"Jack, I swear..."
Wyoming, 1963. Two young cowboys are hired to take care of some sheep way off in the wilderness for a few months. They fall in love and then spend the next 20+ years living a lie. Both get married and have kids, but their hearts belong to each other and their entire existence revolves around the infrequent visits where they can be together.
Honestly, it was hard to simply write out that brief synopsis without crying. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is such a great movie. A masterpiece of human emotions, regret and lost love. When Heath Ledger says "Jack, I swear..." all I could think about was how we're only blessed with one trip around this racetrack and it's so easy to waste that time and get caught up in life and dumb shit and unintentionally neglect the ones you love or to simple lose them for other reasons that are completely out of your control. Relationships (and humans) are such a fragile thing sometimes. Treat every day like it is your last.
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN isn't just a masterpiece of emotions, but also a masterpiece of filmmaking. Perfect direction by Ang Lee, breathtaking cinematography, heartbreaking story, great pace, masterful acting and the music is a joy. Highly recommended.
Wyoming, 1963. Two young cowboys are hired to take care of some sheep way off in the wilderness for a few months. They fall in love and then spend the next 20+ years living a lie. Both get married and have kids, but their hearts belong to each other and their entire existence revolves around the infrequent visits where they can be together.
Honestly, it was hard to simply write out that brief synopsis without crying. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is such a great movie. A masterpiece of human emotions, regret and lost love. When Heath Ledger says "Jack, I swear..." all I could think about was how we're only blessed with one trip around this racetrack and it's so easy to waste that time and get caught up in life and dumb shit and unintentionally neglect the ones you love or to simple lose them for other reasons that are completely out of your control. Relationships (and humans) are such a fragile thing sometimes. Treat every day like it is your last.
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN isn't just a masterpiece of emotions, but also a masterpiece of filmmaking. Perfect direction by Ang Lee, breathtaking cinematography, heartbreaking story, great pace, masterful acting and the music is a joy. Highly recommended.
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